| the downside |
[Aug. 18th, 2009|04:06 am] |
thinking about my dad, today he text me asking how i'm doing and everything. i miss him
i feel so poor thing for him, that he is sleeping with random people now, telling me that he has difficulty
sleeping as his not use to the place and he has to buy food from outside even drinks.
Ever since young i always knew he love me more than my sister even though she was the smarter and brighter one.
he doesnt show it, but i just know he does. his always proud of me, always talking about me to his friends and relative,
always trying to make me happy when i know his struggling with his work. no matter what he is the best dad ever and will be,
all the memories with him. without him i wont be how im like today, i love myself the way i am, and its cause of him that i am like that.
My dad owns a company called Chan's industries
named after his surname which is my surname now, good as it sounds, well use to be, not now. we use to be a happy big family with big cars and a big home, but i guess good things never last and there always a downfall.
like over the years so many
things happen and change, so many secrets within my family hidden with my mom, and the fact that my sister gotta tell me...
i just feel like leaving this family sometimes, my life is not like that, my life used to be the happy eugene with rich parents, big house, cars and getting everything i want and demand for, thats me the spoilt eugene. actually i still am but just a broken family. All the pressure is on my when my sister is happily studying oversea and not facing all the problems at home. k even though she talks to me sometimes i still cant get along with her.
shes the total opposite with me, shes white im brown shes a geek im not she a bookworm im not she sleeps at 10pm everyday i don't, her everyday routine is study so not mine, she don smoke, don club or most of the things i do, she studys for more than 5 hrs a day, her favourite hobby is study, she had 120 more marks than me in psle, shes studying in cambridge and im in a private school. and we don't even look anything alike...... she sounds like she looks like a typical chinese girl actually reading what i wrote about her, but shes not.. hmm special in a way.
im the blackship in this family.
im going to be a role model one day i am i really am, one way or another!
how to concentrate on my exams.. haiyoeh!
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| the secret of love |
[Aug. 17th, 2009|03:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I have been so stress and currently am, why must everything come at this point of time when i'm having my final exams.
I have never had such stressful girl problems in my life ever, and to think about it i do care in fact.
Which i am not like that, friends of mine heard me out from what i have to say and some of them can even say directly to me that i have change saying since when do you even care about girls. Well for this two particular girls i do, and their names are farah/qee my ex and soraya one of the nicest girl i have ever met, and their both arabs how coincidental.
Their two girls that has been a part of me, and hopefully one will be with me forever. All the memories with them the fun times and many more of course. At the end of the day i have to choose one and i have to break one's heart which i have already despite all the confusing and emotional alone time. I know where i belong, i feel so bad to the other party i really do. I don't cry for girls, but for this case i cant control my emotions and it sucks I don't think many people will know how i feel deep down even if i go out with a happy face.
I have so much more to say, but right now bed is only calling me. Brain drained.
Sorry
21 guns
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| this love |
[Aug. 11th, 2009|11:50 pm] |
only few will understand for what i've done.
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| generation Y |
[Jul. 26th, 2009|09:46 pm] |
the worlds changing, so many people are changing for the worst.
most of the time people now a days just want attention and wants to fit in.
or just wanna be seen.
ego is also raising day by day, thinking they are the king of the world. but deep down they are just losers.
people are so judgemental as well, thinking they are so perfect in every single way,
gossiping behind peoples back thinking its cool, and making fake storys as just to get attention from others.
due to this people are fighting and friends are spilting up. Many things are happening.
just can't imagine how would it be like if our generation is so terrible already.
did not expect people can be happy like this, is this what god made us for?
i'm writing this not because it has happen to me but how my view is towards people at this point of life.
i'm being very reality now.
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| my hood |
[Jul. 11th, 2009|02:41 am] |
life sucks when your bros are in ns
life sucks when your close friends are tripping when you decided to stay clean
life sucks when your friends went their own ways
life sucks when someone you see everyday is busy with work
life sucks when you don't have a license :P
FML
the ups and downs of life.
hence moving on
miss the old good days though.
(good times, bad times)
persevering and thats the only thing i can do, good things come to those who wait.
cause i know all this are just for now.
upcoming things that i can remember for now.
~ muay thai
~ CROOKERS
~ 500 days of summer =)
~ more online shopping!!!!!!
~ soraya birthday (if i'm see her)
~ end of school!
~ new tatt
~ Hand up GP
~ Thailand !
~ 18!!!!!!! WHOOOOO
~ License baby :)
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| deep thoughts |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|12:44 am] |
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| |  thoughtful | ] |
someone who understands me and be there for me,
someone who laughs with me, laughs at my jokes.
someone who is always cheerful, not failing to make me smile.
someone that loves me as much as i love you.
there is just too much to express and to say.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2009|03:39 am] |
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! |
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| A week past |
[May. 25th, 2009|05:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
OK! there is so much things to talk about, when only a week has past. It has been a fucking power pack week la from shiv's bbq to brad's house, exams along the way, omar's party and Above and Beyond at zouk. ho ho ho
Got to get to know new people during this week. some cool peeps. hmm just boys and girls that really love tattoos hahaha. not forgetting love to get high too^^
I think the best is that you grow up with your primary school friends to after secondary and you do stuff with them. and talking about it, you would not even imagine it will happen. And when it does you will be like "hahaha fuck man"
Thursday was a bad day for me.. from the start i was so blank during my last paper, thinking how i wanna party and enjoy and i could not remember what i have been reading up on my notes. the weather was being a bitch with me as i was riding with my jack.phoo.
head down to tampines stadium as my friend wanted to see me since i stay at near by, damn boring.... waste my time only. So i had to make some plan, called shiv and went riding with him to little india haha DAI MACHA. felt kinda bad though as i left without saying bye to my friend. TOOO BADDDDD! HAHA WHOOOO
I borrowed shiv's girlfriend helmet and fetch soraya from her work place, its the first time hehe. Wanted to leave the carpark and then my cashcard got not enough money... fuckedup. I was fucking broke already had no choice and just top it up. she was being down and busy with her phone and keeping quiet with me, that made me feel bored and tired.. i was really in a bad mood that day. Then my mom called saying there is a letter for me from HDB about my bike and she ask me to come home, beside i am really broke dunno what i spent my money on and i hate that feeling of going out without money just not right...
Seriously i needed someone to make me feel better, but no one made me feel better. She did not make me feel better that day.
Its a bad day i will remember it but im not gonna talk about it other then here my lb as i write how i felt that day.
Omar's party was one of a kind, haha its not something everyone would like and do. But all i know i had fun and i was in heaven.
haiyoiah!
Yesterday was nice =) i spend my day with soraya. she did not wear her contact lenses, love the eyes so much. hehe
so black and nice but i dunno why she don't like it... i told her to not wear them every time she meets me. um um orgasm :p
saw the muffin man also after some time, haha still the same just had a new tattoo on his leg, argh! tempting me only sia..
k im fucking lazy now, listening to above and beyond. gonna goyang and sleep. ciaotime!
:)
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| Occam's Razor |
[May. 12th, 2009|01:08 am] |
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If only the world can listen to what i'm listening to ~ |
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| THE START |
[May. 10th, 2009|02:55 am] |
Well i always wanted to have a livejournal, but every time i think of creating one i always think its too late, as i should have started it earlier and writen down all the brillant times i had and all the good and bad memories.
So this is where i start at the age 17 and a half. but nevermind still a long road ahead.
its a sunday morning not bothering about anything except a few things. I had a great week spending it everyday with soraya=) haha so many things to laugh about . im like a regular at vivo city :D WHOOO. already haha though i hate the place because its so damn big.
On a THURSDAY of this week, which is considered last week, like duhh. I was gonna pick soraya from work at vivo city and as i was walking there she called me telling me that her mom was outside body shop waiting for her! i just had this thought to myself like okay this could not be any good( yup). haha instantly i changed my direction and wanted to head outside(as i not good in dealing with mom's or dad's) and she called me again "hey just come outside the shop" and i had this feeling that her mom was outside, but oh well haha. and as i was walking there i saw two ladies standing outside and one of them keep looking at me. straight up i knew that was her mom already, i did not know what to do and was trying to find her and the best part she was not even there!! all gone wrong sia serious. she was in the storeroom and she only knew her mom was coming to pick her up but she did not know her mom was outside... her mom approached me :) sweepeh.
Soraya's mom : Are you soraya's friend?
Me(Balls Shrunk) : er yea i am (acting cool , staying cool)
Soraya's mom : What are you doing here?
Me(LYING) : oh i came to see her for awhile (yeea rightt ..)
Soraya's mom : How did you get to know her?
Me : gotta get to know her through nad, nadirah (truth)
Soraya's mom : so are you the one that has been going out with her till 1 am and 5 am?!! (her eyes enlarge just for this question)
Me(Lying AGAIN) : huh, oh no its not me , i only hang out with her sometimes. (ULTIMATE BLUFF SIA MUST KENA CHROME)
Soraya's mom(eyes wide) : DON BLUFF! I am the mother okay. DOn LIE TO ME
Me(Balls ran home already) : oo no i'm not lying, ya (pause) yea.
and she turn away. was a relief that it was over the. oh the best part was in the middle of the interrogation when soraya ran out waving at me .. HAHAA WAAA OMGGGGGGGGG cannot give change sia the wave i tell you .
im sorry soraya if you are reading this, but its seriously damn funny hahahaha*a million. In the end the three of us went back together haha and the following day also :) what a day. full of climax.
TODAY i woke up at 10, feeling happy. because i love to wake up early and not wasting the day. i always tell myself when wanna get up "k 5 minutes more" but then the next thing i know it was 5 oclock.. so wtf jumped out and went to do my normal house stuff. went online and vanjilly help me made this livejournal so nice of her. Hmmm i studied for awhile , as my exams starts on tuesday. suck
was walking around the house cause i was reading my notes, you cant just keep still for this situation. but i gotta do more tomorrow and monday. confirm i wont be sleeping before the exam, typical me..k notes one side THROWWWW.
Moving on, I went to the other side of tampines to meet soraya as she had an family event there and we went to Arab.St with her cousins :)
we went to nasrin if thats how its spelt. smoked up (k not that smoke up) and just chilling. there were two sheesha, one of them was not the normal one and i had never tried it before. it was strong , veryy strong la machams i got headache sia just now , haha like feeling high onlyy head spinning. there were many funny jokes as well, haha "glue on the eyes" lol :D had much fun.
Left about 12 plus and i forgot my helmet.. confident sia walk away all, then feeling a bit empty haha. went back up and the girl working there laughed at me... (STFU U U)
confident no.2 , left without my wallet(in soraya bag). con-fi con-fi la.. walked to the car and alsagoff ask me whether wanna go seng-kang. yea went there and leps with her ummm haha im tired already okay this is the end for my first blog.
okayy byeeeeeeeeee ~
Love Is Not A Competition (But I'm Winning)
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| Saturday's with Vanjill, |
[May. 9th, 2009|07:19 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | vanjill | ] |
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| |  awake | ] |
And this is the outcome but Chan loves it like how he loves Vanjill :) |
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channyspeaks's journal
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